Harry Pot Smoker: The Bong of Fire
by Alex Spracklen
Summary: Meet Harry Pot Smoker. A magically gifted child who attends the School of Weedcraft and Weeding. At the School a terrifying mystery forces Harry face his own worse fears and fight many fierce evils, such as a 3headed pussy, a stoned chess set, a giant Roa


Harry Pot Smoker: The Bong of Fire

Part 1- The flower among the weed

Chapter 1

Vr-0.7

Hugh G. Rection sat at his desk; sweat trickled over his bleary eyes and goatee beard. Things had gone from bad to worse recently and where about to get a whole lot worse soon. In a matter of minutes Craven Dick, a short fat man, with an annoying tendency to suck up to anyone in charge would arrive. The only thing delaying him at this moment was the fact that Harden Long, the man in the portrait, who announced such names, was missing probably measuring up the size of his next smoke.

As predicted a few minutes later, the portrait reappeared announcing the arrival of Craven Dick. He appeared in a flash and moved towards the desk behind which Hugh sat.

"I am sure I don't have to waste times with pleasantries, the situation we face is far to worrying for us to waste any time getting reacquainted." Craven hurriedly said this while pulling up a chair. Hugh waved his hand in agreement.

"I guess that you have worked out the reasons for all this trouble we are having in the south of England. When all those wizards miss out on their share of a shipment then they tend to lose their mellow high pretty fast and get angry. Unfortunately as Security Director the buck stops with you, you are on the line here. What I fail to understand is how you can let 5 massive shipments of Jamaican finest be stolen. We are containing the situation by giving the wizards the Local Produce."

Hugh cringed; no matter what a person does nothing should mean they are subjected to that. The last dealer who sold that stuff in large quantities is still serving time with only the Reentors for company. Hugh had only a brief thought for the ass of that young dealer in that man-loving hell hole. The dealer had been a nice boy really only to willing to help you pick up the soap. Hugh turned hastily back to the subject before he once again heard that scream and first laugh of madness as the Reentors lived up to their name.

Hugh answered a defensive air in his voice. "We are trying to find them now but we are not helped by the fact that none of our men remember a thing. Dylan Weed, the commander, says that in all his life he has never experienced such powerful stuff, one choke and he was gone."

"Well Dylan is not known for his ability to deal with anything of any strength. I still remember that time

"I am sure you have thought of the dreadful possibility that She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named gets her hands on this stuff. Who is to say what might happen, you know as well as I do that a woman of her evil with this much Weed could do some dreadful things."

"I am fully aware and I have reason to believe that she is responsible for this massive robbery."

"Have you sent out any fact-finding missions?"

"Yes I have just sent out Phat Ho, our finest agent, to find information using any means possible."

"Any means you say? Well I do say. The last agent that had those instructions was most thorough. She was like a Hoover sucking up every last drop…." The fat man moved around uncomfortably crossing his legs and then pulling his briefcase onto his lap. " of information. I think in the essence of speed she should report directly to me and no-one else. We don't want her spreading herself around to much as secretive information might be revealed. We want her to spend as much time as possible under my covers."

Hugh looked up surprised.

"Sorry, what am I saying? We just don't want her revealing herself to the enemy or anyone for that matter. I see I will have to take a hands-on approach here and to make her already well-rounded assets even better."

"Excellent idea. I will see her about this new position we are in immediately. We don't want her useless staff members gumming up the works. This has got to be a well lubricated working threesome that communicate and work on each others desires and needs."

The men stood to stand. "Ahhhh shoot" Hugh said "I have just remember she is away watching the 69ners play in America on holiday. It has been a life long dream to see how the 69ners do it so often."

"Really?"

"Yes, when the 69's are on her head is glued in one position and nothing can make her look away from that final toss.

"When can we expect her to come back?"

"Well I am sure that the whole 69ners display must climax soon so she should be coming soon."


End file.
